Post by Meteo Ascension on May 13, 2024 17:51:25 GMT -7
THE LEGO GALAXY 4.00
A LEGO SPACE HISTORY
July 14, 1998
Erik Wilson erikred@itsa.ucsf.edu
TABLE OF CONTENTS
USE OF THIS DOCUMENT
THE GAIAN UNION
THE JITLOV HYPERDRIVE AND THE GAIAN OUTREACH
THE MINIFIGS
THE TRONS
THE RODDENBERRY TRILITHIUM WARP DRIVE
ALIEN CONTACTS
THE GOLDEN AGE OF THE ORIGINAL SPACE PEOPLE
THE MINIFIG REVOLUTION
THE BERSERKERS AND THE DESTRUCTION OF GAIA
THE DARK AGES
THE OCTAN RANGERS
THE FIRST GALACTIC WAR
THE SECOND GALACTIC WAR
THE REIGN OF OCTAGONIUS CAESAR
THE REIGN OF ABS KIRK CHRISTIANSEN
LEGO RELIGIONS
THE REIGN OF MARCUS LEGONIUS
TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCES
THE REIGN OF FRED BRICKSTONE
THE REIGN OF TRONIUS
THE REIGN OF RICHARD DALEY XXXVII
THE REIGN OF DARTH LEGAR
THE TIME OF TROUBLES
THE REIGN OF STEVE JACKTRON
THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE
THE STAR MAP
THE STAR MAP KEY
SPACE BRICKOMACY GAME
TIMELINE
GLOSSARY
Return to Erik Wilson's LEGO Creations
USE OF THIS DOCUMENT Return to Table of Contents
Permission is granted to reproduce and distribute this document as long as it is unmodified, correctly attributed to the author and no money is charged for its distribution. Questions and comments are welcome and may be sent to the author at the address listed above. Thanks are due to the LEGO group for making cool toys, but LEGO is in no way responsible for the use or misuse of this document.
THE GAIAN UNION Return to Table of Contents
There once was a planet called Gaia. It was fragmented into squabbling nations ready to destroy each other and all of their planet at the drop of a hat, even the drop of a tiny plastic hat. Idealistic Gaians dreamed of a possible world based upon the peaceful coexistence of all living things upon the planet. They referred to this dream as the "Gaian Hypothesis." For awhile it was touch and go as they attempted to achieve this peaceful vision. The very fate of the planet hung in the balance. Fortunately the wise among them persuaded the hot heads that the only hope for survival lay in peace and unity. Thus was born the Gaian Union.
THE JITLOV HYPERDRIVE AND THE GAIAN OUTREACH Return to Table of Contents
The United Gaians made great scientific advances. The greatest of all advances was the Jitlov Hyperspace Drive, named for its eccentric inventor. The Jitlov drive was capable of sending a starship a distance of two parsecs, a great improvement over the "impulse" drive which was only capable of a one parsec jump. There were two adjacent star systems that could be reached with a jump of two parsecs (Ceti and Eridani). They were quickly explored and soon colonists were on their way to new homes among the stars. There were other stars which could be reached by a further two parsec jump (see the star map) from Ceti (Plateau, Enfield & Python) or Eridani (Dacta & Billund), and further stars could be reached from Enfield and Plateau. Not all stars in the vicinity could be reached using the two parsec Jitlov drive, no matter how many "jumps" from star system to star system one made. Those that could be were collectively called the "Gaian Reach". All the star systems colonized by the Gaians were collectively referred to as the "Gaian Outreach" including those outside of the Gaian Reach that were eventually colonized by the use of the as yet-to-be invented three parsec space drive. Colonization was soon proceeding at a rapid rate and star-faring trade routes were coming to be economically important when the Jitlov drive revealed a nasty surprise.
THE MINIFIGS Return to Table of Contents
As it turned out exposure to the Jitlov drive caused irreversible (and poorly understood) alterations in the genetic material of those who crossed the great gulfs between the stars. The effects were not seen in those exposed, but only in their children or even their grandchildren. Finally it became apparent that it was an unavoidable but nonfatal consequence of hyperspace travel. The victims were could be identified by their smooth waxy yellowish complexion, their thin dark lips and their beady eyes which made some remark on their resemblance to cartoon characters. Racial discrimination, successfully eradicated by the Gaian Union returned as the normal Gaians began to treat the descendants of the hyperspace travellers as monsters. Cruel names were attached to their affliction, such as "the disfigured" or "the mickey disfigured", a snide reference to their cartoon like appearance. Since large numbers of starship crew members were female (due to the superior endurance of females on long star voyages), they came to be called the "minnie disfigured". The more politically correct of the Gaians felt that the dis prefix constituted a lack of respect so politely shortened it to "minnie figured". Eventually the star travellers came to be considered as a separate race often referred to as the "Minniefigs" or more usually the "Minifigs".
THE TRONS
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The leaders of the Gaian Union came to fear the Minifigs, worrying that they might rebel against their increasingly unfair treatment at the hands of the normal Gaians, so they created the Trons. The Trons were a genetically engineered form of Gaian, specially made to be happy, loyal, resourceful, intelligent, hardy and suited to the rigors of space travel. Since the Trons were genetically identical and only reproduced by cloning, the Gaians believed that they would remain loyal and cheerful at all times (the Trons have identical smiley faces
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THE RODDENBERRY TRILITHIUM WARP DRIVE Return to Table of Contents
At this time the scientists of the Gaian Union developed the Roddenberry Trilithium Warp Drive, an improved star drive that was capable of crossing a distance of three parsecs. The disadvantages of the drive were its great expense and that it still caused the "minifig" condition. Thus Gaian ships could cross to adjacent groups of stars or "reaches" (a reach is a group of stars mutually accessible by a path of two parsec jumps). A great wave of exploration occurred. The most famous explorers of this period were the legendary Bill and Mary who explored the greater part of the Gaian Sector (a sector is a 10 x 10 parsec section of the local galactic arm, a sector is not the same as a reach - see the star map). After the explorers came massive waves of new colonization which was carried out by huge mother ships. The vast majority of the new colonists were cloned Trons, in fact one adjacent reach was named the "Tron Reach" because of this.
The Gaian Reach and the Tron Reach are the two largest known reaches. They have no known end and thus are referred to as "limitless reaches". Also there is no known point at which the two reaches connect by a two parsec or less jump. There are also several smaller reaches that have known limits that were colonized at this time. They are the Astron Reach, the Jewel Reach, the Arcolony Reach and the Dark Reach. These new reaches were colonized mainly by Trons but also by a few non-Tron Minifigs. The Gaian Reach itself also received massive influxes of Trons so that even there the non-Tron Minifigs came to be a minority. The Tron Reach was colonized almost exclusively by Trons with the exception of the oldest colony in the reach, Shalmirane. As time went by and the frontier nature of the colonies diminished, the hand of Gaian central authority came to be increasingly heavy. Taxation become more severe, oppressive laws were promulgated and 20% off sales became rarer and rarer.
ALIEN CONTACTS Return to Table of Contents
The spread of Gaian exploration and colonization eventually led them into contact with alien races, particularly after the invention of the Roddenberry Trilithium Warp Drive. The earliest aliens contacted were the Awful Green Things From Outer Space, a race of hungry barbaric aliens who lived in the distant part of the Gaian Reach past the Babylon system. The next contact was with the remnants of an earlier empire, the Duplo Outreach. The Duplofolk had once invented a stardrive themselves but had lost the technology in some ancient catastrophe and hence reverted to a primitive childlike level of technology. Duplo ruins were occasionally found on other planets throughout the Tron and Jewel Reaches. The remains of another extinct alien civilization, the "Neaderplasts", who apparently had huge bulbous heads and long snakelike arms, were found on the planet Bedrock. Other aliens contacted were the "Bluetrons" (they were not really Trons or even all that blue, but they did live in the further part of the Tron Reach), the Technic Giants and the related Bellevue people (in the Arcolony Reach), the Tyconauts (in the Astron Reach), the Ritvik Megascum (in the Jewel Reach), the Dragons (in the Dark Reach) and the Insectoids (in the Gaian Reach beyond the Awful Green Things From Outer Space). Only the Insectoids had technology even close to rivaling the Gaians and they had only developed a two parsec hyperspace drive before becoming somewhat stagnant technologically. These early contacts were mainly peaceful and some trade agreements were developed with the various aliens.
THE GOLDEN AGE OF THE ORIGINAL SPACE PEOPLE Return to Table of Contents
The inhabitants of the Gaian Outreach achieved a level of civilization that has (in the opinion of many) never since been equaled. Art, literature, architecture and idea books flourished. The space lanes were plied by Galactic Explorers, Starfleet Voyagers, Galaxy Commanders, Cosmic Fleet Voyagers and other starships of the golden age. The main colony worlds began to rival Gaia itself in terms of economic and cultural advancement. Each of the most important colony worlds had their own distinctive color of spacesuit. They were Epcot (white), Plateau (red), Trantor (yellow), Enfield (blue), Trafalgar (black), Dacta (green), Ceti (orange) and Eridani (pink). The spacesuits of this period were usually equipped with the Maxwell DMN helmet which needed no visor because it maintained a small forcefield to keep the breathing air from escaping into the vacuum of space. The technology used to manufacture Maxwell DMN helmets was later lost and has only recently been rediscovered but even today Maxwell DMN helmets can no longer be made as safely and reliably as they could in the time of the original space people and thus are not in widespread use.
THE MINIFIG REVOLUTION Return to Table of Contents
It was no surprise that harsh Gaian repression eventually led to rebellion. The surprise was that the first blow was struck not by the increasingly disaffected non-Tron Minifigs but by the supposedly loyal Tron clones. Trons on the Tron Reach colony of Trafalgar lodged a peaceful protest against the policies of the oppressive and arbitrary policies of the insane Gaian Governor, Martinet Broadsides, and were met by a hail of plastic bullets. The Tron were shocked from their customary good natured obedience by this gross waste of loyal productive Tron lives and they decided that the governor had malfunctioned and must be removed for the good of the Tron and as well as their Gaian overlords. When the news of Martinets overthrow reached Gaia, reaction was swift and harsh. Police units, such as the Night-Patrollers, the Pursuit Squad, the Surveillance Squad, the Black & Tans and the NKVD were dispatched with orders to brutally repress all Tron resistance wherever it might be found. This was exactly the wrong policy. Trons all across the Gaian Outreach were so shocked that they came to believe that the Gaian government that brutally murdered many of the most loyal and trustworthy of Tron workers had become as insane as Governor Broadsides had been. Revolution spread across the Tron worlds and the Gaians branded the rebelling Trons as "renegade Trons" or "Black Trons". The term came to be a label of pride among the Trons. Trafalgar colony, the home of the black original space people, itself was later renamed "Blacktron" and most of the other colonies of the Tron Reach added "Tron" to their names to indicate solidarity with the rebels. The non-Tron Minifig colonists of the Gaian and other reaches quickly used the opportunity to join the revolt although their relations with the Black Tron were sometimes rather strained.
THE BERSERKERS AND THE DESTRUCTION OF GAIA Return to Table of Contents
The revolution spread like wildfire. The Gaian leadership panicked and began the construction of a series of monstrous warships crewed by giant robots programmed to destroy all life except the inhabitants of Gaia itself. They were called the Berserkers and that name is still used to scare small children on many planets of the Gaian Outreach. The Berserker fleet wrought terrible damage to the nearer worlds of the Gaian Reach (almost completely destroying Ceti and Eridani) before crossing over into the Tron Reach in an attempt to destroy the center of the Black Tron rebellion. It was there that admiral Nels Tron of the planet Trafalgar, (soon to be renamed Blacktron), the commander of the United Rebel fleet (the URF), outmaneuvered and defeated the ponderous Berserkers. The Berserkers managed to retreat to the outskirts of the colonized part of the Tron Reach (an area now known as the "Berserker Corridor") with the remnants of their fleet. Even to this day the Berserkers under the command of their leaders Admiral Tobor and General Gort conduct raids upon any inhabited planet that they can get to, usually within the Tron or Jewel Reaches. Fortunately the Berserker fleet can no longer reliably make three parsec jumps due to lack of maintenance and repair so most worlds are spared from the specter of Berserker attack. Recently the Berserkers have split into two factions, the classic Berserkers and a more technologically modern group referred to as the Roboforce Berserkers or simply the Roboforce. Both Trons and non-Tron Minifigs were so incensed by the Berserker carnage and so fearful of a new fleet of Berserkers being constructed that they assembled the mightiest star fleet ever seen, overwhelmed the powerful planetary defenses of Gaia itself and bombed Gaia into a smoking mass of melted plastic. The "normal" Gaians, now often referred to as the "Old Gaians" or the "Old Ones" were wiped out of existence.
As the vengeful URF approached Gaia, an unscrupulous charlatan, Jailbreak Joe Roth, inflicted a cruel deception on the desperate Gaians. He promised to transport them to safety in a giant spacecraft, named the Enterprise, in return for their life savings. Of course the Enterprise turned out to be hoax and Joe Roth fled with his ill-gotten gains leaving his victims to face the bombs. Luckily poetic justice prevailed when Joes escape craft stuck a space mine. He perished along with his loot leaving only the legend of the "Giant Enterprise Hoax".
THE DARK AGES Return to Table of Contents
The period that followed the revolution is referred to as the "Dark Ages". It was a period of decay and decline of technology, of economies, of construction brick purchases and of civilization itself. With the destruction of the mighty shipyards of Gaia it was no longer possible to construct starships with three parsec Roddenberry Trilithium Warp drives and thus contact between Reaches became rare. Even contact between planets of the same reach grew infrequent. Some planets never really recovered from the destruction suffered during the revolution, others were still too recently colonized to be truly self sufficient and thus endured great hardships due to the lack of supplies and spare part packages that might once have been ordered from the Gaian Shop-at-home catalog. The genetically hardy and cheerful Trons survived extreme depravation much better than the individualistic non-Tron Minifigs. Also the planets with the largest Minifig populations had been destroyed by the Berserkers (Ceti and Eridani) or had suffered greatly (Dacta, Billund, Python) while the frontier worlds, which were more heavily populated by Trons, were largely spared. On some planets the more fragile non-Tron Minifigs died out completely while on others they were reduced to a thin aristocratic crust.
The Minifig Revolution created new menaces in its aftermath. The Berserkers were the first and most obvious, but certainly they were not the only ones. Many mutations occurred due to the radiation loosed by Berserker weapons. Minifigs (including Trons) were born with hideous deformities. Sadly in the desperate period following the revolution, it was all too easy for the Minifigs to treat the innocent mutants with just the same prejudice that they had recently been treated themselves. The mutants were often blamed for natural disasters, poor design of fire stations and other calamities and were eventually driven out of their homes en masse, finally settling on the fringes of inhabited space. The largest group of Mutant refugees came to inhabit several planets on the edge of the Arcolony reach (such as the planet Xworld where them began to organize first to defend themselves and later to take vengeance for their mistreatment at the hands of the Minifigs.
Other groups of mutants spread to other worlds outside the boundaries of the Gaian Outreach. In a remote area of the Tron Reach a mutant Tron scientist, Dr. Cyber, invented a method of reanimating dead Minifigs and created the Cyborgs. Dr. Cyber used his creations to conquer several nearby planets in the Tron Reach causing a reaction against his excesses. A military force was raised which expelled the Cyborgs and imprisoned Dr. Cyber. The Cyborgs fled into unexplored areas of the Tron reach where they founded the Cyborg Empire. Dr. Cyber escaped from prison but was so remorseful over the destruction caused by his creations that he attempted to construct a time machine that would take him back in time so that he could prevent his invention from taking place. Dr. Cyber and his laboratory assistant, Tim, vanished with the time machine in a great cloud of smoke and never were seen again.
On the other side of inhabited space in the Astron reach another Minifig created menace came into being. During the revolution Dr. Franken Tron, a scientist from Astrograd (the oldest and most powerful colony of the Astron Reach), created android super soldiers to fight the Gaians. After the destruction of Gaia, the military commanders of Astrograd used the androids to make themselves warlords over the various planets of the Astron reach and soon expanded their sway over adjacent uninhabited star system and the worlds of the Tyconauts. It was many years before the nearer planets of the Astron Reach extradited themselves from the influence of the Android Warlords who continue to rule the further parts of the Astron Reach to this day.
Furthermore there were many groups of refugees and even bandits that fled from their ruined homes. Some such as the legendary Legar the Horrible became barbaric raiders preying upon the more peaceful and civilized worlds. Some of these barbarians are the ancestors of the Space Pirates of today. Others peacefully settled worlds far distant from the core areas of the Gaian Outreach. Yet others became wanderers, living on their starships, the ancestors of the Free Traders.
If this were not enough there were additional threats arising on the borders of the Gaian Outreach. Many of the alien races which had been primitive compared to the mighty United Gaians used the dark ages to close the technological gap, often with technology acquired from the Gaians themselves. The Blue Trons of the Tron Reach, the Technic Giants of the Arcolony Reach, the Awful Green Things From Outer Space of the Gaian Reach, the Ritvik Megascum of the Jewel Reach, the Tyconauts of the Astron Reach and the Coneheads of the Geometry Reach all either became starfaring races or vastly improved their starships although none of them were able to do better than two parsec Jitlov hyperdrives. It was also during the dark ages that the Minifigs of the Dark Reach were able to communicate with the Dragons of Pern and learn the use of magical powers from them.
The woes of the minifigs were not over yet as the dark ages were the times of the awful Tandemitis plague which caused minifigs heads to swell up until they exploded. Prospects were so bleak that occasional Minifigs were reported to spontaneously break into a frown which usually caused their immune system to shut down followed quickly by the demise of the unhappy Minifig.
THE OCTAN RANGERS Return to Table of Contents
During the darkest days of the dark ages there arose a group of tireless crusading knights, the protectors of the downtrodden, the friends of the just and the saviors of the hopeless, the legendary Octan Rangers, Originally they were a group of service station attendants on the planet Octagon who were thrown out of work by the crumbling economy of the medieval period. They turned to comedy as a new career and discovered the power of humor. They undertook to use "the farce" to do good wherever they could. They were sworn to poverty (they didn't own anything to start with), chastity (this one was particularly easy as Trons are not anatomically correct and reproduce only by cloning) and unfailing good humor (again a part of their always-smiling Tron heritage). They undertook quests all across the Gaian Outreach although they maintained their base upon the planet Octagon. They did good deeds that are still commemorated in songs and comic books to this day. There was only one dark period in the otherwise shinning history of the Octan Rangers. A group of Octan Rangers discovered the awesome power of the dark side of the farce and were thus seduced into using sarcasm. Sarcasm had a devastating effect upon the often-naive Trons, often causing their arms to pop out and their legs to fall off. The sarcastic (or dark) Octans were expelled from the brotherhood and became mercenaries for the Android Warlords of the Astron Reach. Eventually some overthrew their masters and became warlords themselves.
After the creation of LEGO (see below) many Octan Rangers became a part of the New Space Police although some have maintained the order. The headquarters of the brotherhood was moved to the planet Carlsbad during the reign of the emperor Brickstone.
THE FIRST GALACTIC WAR Return to Table of Contents
Eventually there was a renaissance among the worlds of the Gaian Outreach. New shipyards capable of constructing three parsec jump starships appeared (initially at Blacktron in the Tron Reach, Epcot in the Gaian Reach and Enfield, also in the Gaian Reach) and regular contact reopened between the reaches. Unfortunately conflicts arose as the differences between the reaches became apparent. The Gaian Reach was, for the most part, ruled by a tiny minority of non-Tron Minifig nobility who lorded it over masses of usually loyal and genetically happy Tron subjects. The Tron Reach was almost entirely inhabited by Trons (except for the planet Shalmirane) and were usually ruled by elected Tron councils (the Councils of Elect-Trons). Individuality and "pretensions" of grandeur were greatly discouraged, loyalty and hard work were encouraged. The Minifig rulers of the worlds of the Gaian Reach saw the Tron worlds as "communistic" planets that might be tempted to incite the Tron serfs of the Gaian reaches to revolt. The Trons saw the Gaian nobility as parasites who profited from the toil of their enslaved Tron brethren. Neither side was, on the whole, as bad as they were portrayed. However the accusations and counter-accusations soon caused the worlds of the Gaian Outreach to polarize into competing alliances. Many (but not all) of the worlds of the Gaian Reach joined the Farflung Futuron Federation (FFF). Important planets of the FFF were Epcot (the FFF capital, home of the Old Space Police), Enfield (home of the Blue Futurons), Plateau (home of the Red Futurons), Trantor (home of the Yellow Futurons) and Dacta (home of the Dacta set 6355 space people). The Futurons labeled their Tron opponents as the "Belligerent Baronies of the Blacktron" or BBB which stuck as a moniker because the Trons name for themselves was so cumbersome (Tron Reach Alliance Merging Power in Opposition to Larcenous and Insidious Nasties of Epcot or TRAMPOLINE). Important planets of the BBB were Polytron, Intertron, Genentron and Blacktron itself. Most of the worlds of the other reaches, which were in general less populated and less powerful, were neutral as were some planets of the Gaian and Tron Reaches. Inevitably war broke out between the two leagues. Initially the FFF gained the initiative and things looked bleak for the BBB. However the tide turned when the non-Tron minifig planet of Shalmirane defected to the BBB and the FFF expeditionary force under General Gordon was cut off in hostile territory. It was the turn of the BBB to mount an offensive but the worlds of the FFF were strongly defended and the BBB attack finally ground to an exhausted halt. An oft violated ceasefire was signed, neutral zones were delineated and a period of armed truce ensued.
THE SECOND GALACTIC WAR Return to Table of Contents
The years between the two great galactic wars were filled with political maneuvering. As time went on it became less and less possible for any planet to stay neutral. The FFF and BBB actively recruited planets in the frontier regions of the Gaian and Tron reaches either by diplomacy or outright intimidation. The FFF recruited planets such as Ix, Infinity and Cyteen. The BBB recruited Technetron, Magnetron and many other worlds. Some of these newly recruited BBB planets came to be known as the Next Generation Blacktron (Blacktron II). The most powerful of the next generation Blacktron planets, Magnetron, led by the fearsome Magneto, maintained its independence in an alliance with the Blacktrons.
Despite the efforts of some moderating voices such as the Octan Rangers and the Priests of the Maker, preparations for war continued. Soon the worlds of the nearby reaches (the Jewel, Arcolony and Astron reaches in particular) were lining up against each other. The prevailing attitude became: if your neighbors are not with you, they are against you. Finally war broke out over a minor incident on a border planet (the assassination of the minifig archduke of Simearth) and the entire Gaian Sector was soon engulfed in the largest conflict since the Minifig Revolution. The conflict raged across the Gaian Outreach, even involving alien planets outside the Outreach. It was an era of star fleet battles. It was an era of wanton destruction and grotesque dismemberment of minifigs. It was an era of bricks dumped in a pile without being sorted.
The war continued on until all the combatants were bloody, (this is a figure of speech as minifigs don't actually bleed) scratched and battered. Finally the Octan Rangers were able to broker a peace of exhaustion. They called a vast conference including the leaders of almost every planet in the Gaian Outreach. After nearly a year of hard negotiation the delegates agreed that the only solution that would both prevent the continuation of destructive war and protect the worlds of the Gaian Outreach from rapidly growing external threats was complete unity. It took additional years to work out the details and actually implement this solution. Finally the Limitless Empire of the Gaian Outreach (LEGO) was born. Its capital was at the old Octan Ranger headquarters planet of Octagon. Each planet elected a senator whose duties included protecting the rights of the individual planets of the Empire, advising the Emperor and electing new Emperors. The first election was nearly unanimous, the commander of the Octan Rangers became the new Emperor and took the name of Octagonius Caesar.
THE REIGN OF OCTAGONIUS CAESAR Return to Table of Contents
A new chronology was created at the Ascension of Octagonius Caesar. It was proclaimed to be year one of the LEGO era. Octagonius was an energetic and competent non-Tron Minifig. He founded the institutions that were to the backbone of the Empire. He created the New Space Police, the military and law enforcement arm of the Empire. They were a unified force composed of Octan Rangers, old Space Police and Blacktron Space Marines. He used them to repel the Berserkers and drive the Space Pirates out of their base on Lincoln Park (a moon of the world of Chicago). Octagonius organized the imperial bureaucracy across the empire and the system of tax collection that funded the other imperial institutions. He supported education, science and Saturday morning cartoons. The imperial peace caused a boom in commerce. The Free Traders constructed many of their massive city ships (usually at the great shipyard at Enfield) and grew to dominate the rapidly expanding inter-reach trade. They founded an important base of commerce on the planet Auczilla. The M-Trons of Magnetron developed a magnetic tractor beam technology that greatly assisted them in their mining endeavors and allowed them to accumulate great wealth. Magnetron became the most powerful planet outside of Octagon itself. The M-Tron mining ships soon crossed all of LEGO in search of minerals and even gained access to the Cyborg Empire through a treaty. Many other planets repaired their war torn economies and erected new K-Marts, Targets, Toys-R-Us stores and Walmarts. When Octagonius died in the 28th year of the LEGO era, the foundations of the empire had been firmly laid.
THE REIGN OF ABS KIRK CHRISTIANSEN Return to Table of Contents
The Imperial Senate gathered and elected the Archpriest of the Maker of the planet Monza (a planet famous for its many race tracks) to be the second emperor. It proved to be a brilliant choice. The Order of the Maker was an ancient and respected religion based upon the planet Billund which had spread across the Gaian Outreach. They held that there was a original creator, usually thought to be a Gaian Old One, who had made the Minifigs. The new emperor derived his name from the Makers name. The Order of the Maker promoted peace, charity and creative play. Members of the Order often carried out diplomatic missions. It was that skill in diplomatic matters that now stood the Emperor Christiansen in good stead. The Empire was still filled with factions that threatened to tear it apart and undo the work of Octagonius. Christiansen was able to finally cause the FFF of the Gaian Reach and the BBB of the Blacktron Reach to be disbanded. The individual planets were still powerful, but Epcot and Blacktron were no longer the capitals of rival leagues. The other main achievement of the Emperor Christiansen was the reoccupation of the home planet of Gaia. At great expense Christiansen had most of the planet decontaminated and rebuilt as a museum planet. It was constructed on a "town" theme, although the inhabitants were now Trons as the Old Ones of Gaia were dead long before. The Emperor Christiansen passed away in the 55th year of the LEGO era leaving the empire in a peaceful and prosperous state.
It was at this time that the Ice Planet people of Krystos developed a four parsec stardrive (the Asimov Assymtotic Worm Hole Drive) for small crewless messenger rockets which has allowed them to gain control over the communications network in the Empire because of the great improvement in speed due not only to the increase from 3 to 4 parsecs per jump but also for the ability to take more direct routes. Direct routes are important because it is necessary to jump into large gravity wells such as stars. It is impossible to make stops in the middle of interstellar space. Krystos soon became one of the most important planets in LEGO.
LEGO RELIGIONS Return to Table of Contents
It should be noted that there are three main religions prevalent in the Gaian Outreach as well as minor faiths too numerous and too silly to mention (some of which have been adopted from non-LEGO aliens). The Emperor Christiansen was an Archpriest of the Order of the Maker which is mentioned above. The Order of the Maker is based at Billund and is guarded by the musketeers of Darkover a dedicated group of mercenaries hired from outside of LEGO. There are several heretical offshoots of the Order of the Maker. At one time it became a point of contention whether the maker was a single entity, a single entity with three aspects, a triple entity or a multiple entity. Finally a grand council meeting decided in favor of the single entity with three aspects concept and that became the official policy of the Grand Archpriest of the Maker at Billund. However not all adherents of the Order of the Maker were persuaded. The triple entity heresy survived on the planet of Trinitron and the multiple entity heresy survived on the planet of Polytron. The single entity heresy (the adherents of the one true Tron or the "Unitron") were forced to flee from religious persecution and finally settled on the planet Metropolis
The second most popular religious faith is the Order of the Player which worships an elaborate pantheon of gods (examples of the numerous Player deities are Paul Gyugyi, Dik Winter, David Karr, Eileen Keeney, Todd Lehman, Jacob Sparre Andersen, Jeff Crites, Tom Pfeifer, Raymond Flournoy, Minx Kelly, Tony Kilaras, Joe Lauher, Michael Dorneich, Lou Zucaro, Eric Brok, Sonya Choi Lee, Patrick Delahanty, Calum Tsang, Ed Boxer, James Jessiman, Richard Wright, Terrell Keller, Chris Moseley, Suzanne Rich, Huw Millington, Steve Demlow, Larry Pieniazek and Mike Stanley). The order of the Player holds that these deities determine the fate of each Minifig. There are many Player holy places, the three chief being on the planets of Simearth, Bevatron and Tortuga. The third major religious organization is the Order of the Gambler, sometimes known as the new faith, which holds that fate is unknown, unknowable and basically random. The Order of the Gambler is often connected with the image of dice although they occasionally worship a Deity named Heisenberg. There are no specific Gambler holy places as they hold that all places are random and therefore holy.
THE REIGN OF MARCUS LEGONIUS Return to Table of Contents
The Third Emporer was the great Marcus Legonius who was remembered as the warrior philosopher. He wrote numerous tracts upon philosophy, history, architectural design and internet etiquette. Even more numerous were his remarkable military victories over the enemies of LEGO. He came from the planet of Elysium, home of the Legions, who with their powered exoskeleton suits were the finest mercenary forces in all the Empire. Marcus Legonius relied heavily upon the Legions in his campaigns. There was some friction between the Space Police and the Legions, but such was the respect that Legonius commanded that it was only after his death that these internal conflicts became serious. Legonius expanded the boundaries of the empire at the expense of the Empires external foes. He defeated the Technic Giants of the Arcolony Reach and conquered the planet of Bellevue from them. He shattered the Android Warlords of the Astron Reach and liberated the planets of Fahrenheit and Spyrius from their sway. He crushed a massive invasion from the shoddy spaceforces of the Ritvik Megascum and took the planet Ocean from them. He expelled the Space Pirates from the planet Solaris (where they had made their base after Octagonius had driven them from Chicago). Legonius blasted the Awful Green Things From Outer Space off of Aurora and Terminus. He bested the Cyborg Empire and took the planet Ignitron from them as the price of peace. He also beat the Berserkers on two separate occasions and freed the planet Greytron from their sway. He drove the Mutants out of Damascus and Atlantis. In addition Legonius conquered the independent planet of Oz and made a number of other less powerful worlds (such as Oncotron) into client states of LEGO. In addition he also suppressed two rebellions within the boundaries of LEGO itself. His only real setback was at the hands of the Magicians of the Dark Reach who were able to maintain their independence and secure a nonaggression treaty with LEGO. Marcus Legonius passed away peacefully in the 89th year of the LEGO era, after having ruled for 34 years, the longest of all the emperors and the one who gave the empire its current boundaries.
The planet Spyrius, newly liberated from Android domination, eclipsed Astrograd as the most important planet in the Astron Reach and became a first rate power due to the invention of the Spyrian Cloaking Device. The cloak has allowed the Spyrians to conquer defeat the android warlord HAL and capture the planet Urbana and thus gain the technology to construct androids. They have also stolen giant robot technology from the Berserkers and magnetic tractor beam technology from the M-Trons. The secret agents of Spyrius are in great demand by plotters and intriguers everywhere.
TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCES Return to Table of Contents
During the campaign against the Technic Giants the Emperor Legonius captured many technic devices which were to become the basis of new industries in the Empire. In particular the Engineers of the General Technics Corporation (based on the planet Ix) and the inhabitants of the planet of Technetron (the Dilberts) began manufacturing technic items. The technic advances soon led to improvements in robotics and many new varieties of robots were designed. In addition the Minifig Hazard Suit was developed by the M-Trons allowing Minifigs to work in hostile environments and colonize previously uninhabitable planets.
During this period a scientist on the planet of Cyteen, Dr. Barbara McGnutron rediscovered the ability of the Gaian Old Ones to create genetically engineered clones. This feat was eventually copied by the Clonemasters of Genentron. The biotechnologists of Cyteen and Genentron soon made new lines of clones, usually referred to as Gnutrons after Dr. McGnutron. Some of the most powerful planets and organizations purchased expensive Gnutron genetic material which allowed them the advantages of improved Trons. Some examples are the officer Gnutrons of the new Space Police, the smirking agent Gnutrons of the Spyrians, the "Ice Babe" navigators of Krystos and the monorail engineer Gnutrons of Unitron. There were also some lines of less expensive Gnutrons often referred to as Simtrons (for simulated Trons). Simtrons are similar in features to basic Trons but are of lower quality, malfunction more easily and are really really stupid. They are sometimes contemptuously referred to as "Homers" after Homer Groentron, the Genentron clonemaster who created them. They are the primary inhabitants of the planet of Springfield. The new lines of Gnutrons also have had the unfortunate side effect of reviving racial tensions which didn't exist when almost everyone was a smiling Tron.
Another group that has aquired advanced technology are the Unitrons from the planet Metropolis. They have developed an antigravity repulser device which allows them to construct efficient and inexpensive monorail transport systems which are much in demand across LEGO. Sale of monorail systems has brought them great wealth.
THE REIGN OF FRED BRICKSTONE Return to Table of Contents
Marcus Legonius broke with the tradition of choosing the Emporer on the basis of merit and anointed his eldest son (Rossper O. Legonius) as his heir apparent. Lingering resentment over the constant demands that the elder Legonius had made upon the LEGO treasury to support his many military campaigns and serious doubts about the competency of the younger Legonius led to opposition among the senators. Even more critical was a movement from the Tron Reach senators to elect a Tron as Emperor. It had been implied at the time of the creation of LEGO that the imperial succession would be rotated among the reaches. The Gaian, Jewel and Arcolony Reaches had worn the purple, only the Tron and Astron reaches had yet to have an Emperor of their own. Thus ensued 38 consecutive senate votes with no majority winner between the younger Legonius, the candidate of the Trons (Billklin Tron) and the candidate of the Gaian Reach aristocracy (Baron Robert the Dull, a non-Tron minifig Space Knight of the Order of Nee from the Planet Python). Finally the exhausted senate settled on an unknown compromise candidate, Fred Brickstone of the planet Bedrock. It was a terrible mistake. The Emperor Brickstone came from a backward frontier planet and had little experience to aid him in governing the sophisticated technological society of LEGO. Furthermore Brickstone was something of a playboy. While he was out having a yabba-dabba-do time the Empire was going to hell in a hand cart. He was weak and vacillating and was unable to recognize that many of his appointees were corrupt and venal. The treasury of LEGO, already diminished by the wars of Marcus Legonius was now driven deeper into the red by the thieving of Imperial officials and Brickstones numerous expensive building projects. Brickstone had giant replicas of vanished Gaian monuments erected in shopping malls everywhere. The powerful planets of LEGO were able to successfully lobby for greater representation in the senate. There were 79 inhabited planets and 79 senators, but ancient tradition held that a senate should have 100 members, so Brickstone granted the edict to elect a further 21 senators from the most powerful worlds. One of the planets that now had two senators was Paradise in the Jewel Reach, the home of the Fortunate 400 who were some of the richest and most powerful of the Minifigs from across LEGO. Paradise had by this time become a center of banking, tourism, media, gambling and entertainment and rivaled Octagon itself in power and glamour. The Emporer Brickstone spent much of his time partying on Paradise as conditions worsened elsewhere.
The Emperor Brickstone suffered a stroke in the year 107 of the LEGO era and was totally mentally incapacitated (he had previously been only partially mentally incapacitated). Unfortunately his wife, the Empress Wilma Brickstone was able to rule the Empire for the last six years of her husbands life. She was no better an administrator than Fred and LEGO continued on a downward path of rampant corruption and increasing overspecialization of parts.
THE REIGN OF TRONIUS Return to Table of Contents
After the Brickstone fiasco, the Tron planets threatened rebellion if one of their own was not elected Emperor. The senate acceded and Tron THX1138 from the planet Polytron was elected Emperor taking the name of Tronius. The imperial bureaucracy, now filled with self-interested crooks appointed by the Brickstones proved to be treacherous as they thwarted or subtroverted every attempt that Tronius made at reform. The senate even asserted its independence and began to meet on the planet Plateau instead of on Octagon allowing them to plot away from the eyes of the Space Police. Tronius proved to be persistent and energetic and genetically cheerful (as all Trons are) and his enemies eventually found it necessary to have him assassinated to prevent his reforms from taking effect. He was pushed into a vat of acetone, turpentine and benzene and perished in the year 122 of the LEGO era.
Tronius did suceed in promoting the revival of the LEGO exploration and survey corp. The Exploriens are based on the planet Infinity and under the leadership of their commander, Buzz Lightyear, have expanded the horizons of charted territory beyond the boundaries of the Gaian sector.
THE REIGN OF RICHARD DALEY XXXVII Return to Table of Contents
It is common knowledge that the next Imperial election was corrupt and that the Emperor Daley, the leader of organized crime from the planet Chicago bought his way onto the throne. He soon filled the upper echelons of the Imperial bureaucracy with his cronies from the Chicago Mob and began to skim off the resources of LEGO in a way that the corrupt officials of Brickstone's day could only have dreamed of. The worlds of the Tron Reach broke into rebellion at the word of the assassination of Tronius but Daley proved to have a deft hand at politics and bought off the rebels by granting them and all the planets of LEGO increased autonomy. Only three planets were not pacified and they became the core of the smoldering Greytron rebellion (Greytron, Klystron and Trinitron). All out civil war was averted but much of the centralized power of the Empire that Octagonius had worked so hard to create was lost. Individual planets became almost independent and the Emperor became only the first among many powers. LEGO soon began to degenerate into a plastic version of the Holy Roman Empire. The Emperor recruited, as a personal bodyguard, the most powerful of the Dark Octan Android Warlords from the far edge of the Astron Reach, the sinister Darth Legar. Daley used Legar to enforce his will and spread terror throughout the Empire. In reaction the Senate asserted its independence and raised its own red-clad Praetorian Guards on Plateau. Despite the critical political events that were occurring popular attention was often occupied by media frenzies such as the trial of J.O. Simtron and the "Town Junior" scandal which dominated the front pages for years as it was revealed that Imperial officials had deliberately substituted cheap, shoddy and unsafe designs for building contracts. It originally came to public attention when many Town Junior buildings collapsed and crushed their occupants. Finally it came to light that the ABS used to build those structures had been mixed with corn flakes and that junior high school students had been hired as architects in a cost-saving move. Another of the major media events of this time was the lawsuit that Willa the Witch, a recent immigrant from the magic-using worlds of the Dark Reach, brought against the news media over their unflattering portrayal of her as a snaggle-toothed witch. Willa claimed that the unfavorable coverage interfered with her right to practice her own druidic religion. The "yellow press" inflamed the matter and soon riots broke out in the streets. Opponents claimed that Willa would soon be forcing Minifigs to bend their arms backwards and perform other obscene acts. Finally a compromise was worked out where Willa was allowed to practice her faith unhindered by news coverage as long as she promised to stop boiling reporters in a her large cauldron.
One of the newly-powerful nearly-independent powers are the Cyberpunks of the planet Intertron. They have recently developed advanced computer technologies and CAD programs which have thrust them into the forefront of LEGO design efforts. The Cyberpunks are also the driving force behind the ultra secret MINDSTORMS project.
Finally in the 19th year of the Emperor Daleys' reign (year 141 of the LEGO era) Daley was assassinated by unknown forces and the sinister Darth Legar ascended to the throne without Senatorial approval.
THE REIGN OF DARTH LEGAR Return to Table of Contents
Legar instituted a wave of oppression that had not been seen since the long gone days of the great Minifig Revolution. Legar used legions of jack-booted android storm troopers to crush the spirit out of all freedom loving minifigs. Androids were constructed in great numbers by both Legar and other groups due to their strength and loyalty. Legar recruited other Android Warlords to do his bidding including the evil and demented Mandroid who was placed in charge of LEGO's ministry of propaganda. Mandroid proceeded to flood all channels of communication with vile and disgusting spam which did as much as anything to drive the worlds of LEGO into open rebellion. The Space Police were caught between their disdain for Legar and his minions and their sense of duty which called on them to uphold the Empire. Epcot, Blacktron, Ix, Paradise, Elysium, Intertron, Genentron, Technetron and other powerful planets begin hiring mercenaries and building warships. LEGO was rife with plots and counterplots, it was only a matter of time before civil war broke out.
THE TIME OF TROUBLES Return to Table of Contents
Rebellion finally exploded across the Empire but it could not have come at a worse time. The external enemies of LEGO has been bidding their time and waiting for a chance for payback. First to attack were the UFO Mutants. Exposure to excess cosmic radiation in their sector had caused further mutation among the already grotesque mutants. Smoldering resentment over their persecution at the hands of the minifigs in the past soon boiled over and fleets of newly designed saucer ships were on their way to spread death and destruction onto the worlds of the Limitless Empire of the Gaian Outreach. Almost simultaneously the Roboforce Berserkers of Electrolux renovated and redesigned their aging robot designs and launched an assault against the planets of Carnival and Phototron and beyond. At the other end of the empire the Awesome Insectoid Empire developed dangerous new three parsec jump Roddenberry Trilithium Warp Drive spacecraft designs which allowed them to attack the worlds of LEGO. If that wasn't enough the Cyberslam Corps of the Technic Giant Army landed on the planets of the Arcolony Reach. The Minifigs were defenseless against the Cyberslam weapons and refugees begin to flee in panic. Other old enemies of LEGO stirred to life. The Ritvik Megascum had been subsumed into the more technically advanced Repzyllian Empire but the Repzyllians had inherited the Megascum dislike for LEGO and soon they had launched their own invasion. On the fringes of the Tron Reach the Bluetrons began an invasion with their new allies, the four-armed Hexatron. Finally even the Cyborg Empire mobilized its forces and attacked what seemed to be a rapidly disintegrating LEGO. To top it off, an accident in a cloning laboratory on Genentron unleashed a wave of faulty gnutrons known as the Timmy Plague. It was an open question as to who would evict Legar from Octagon first, the rebels or the invaders. Legar saw the writing decals on the brick wall and fled the throne planet in 159 with a mountain of gold-plated coins and his most loyal Android Warlord retainers. Many claim that he fled to a secret Android Warlord base outside of the boundary of LEGO where he plots his counterattack. He left behind a disintegrating empire and 850 pairs of shoes.
THE REIGN OF STEVE JACKTRON Return to Table of Contents
During 159-160, a series of military commanders, known as the barracks emperors claimed the purple mantle (purple is a rare color in LEGO, reserved for the Emperors use only). None lasted long enough to see any of the commemorative building sets that they had issued in their own honor. All seemed lost. Every day it seemed that another planet fell under the sway of the invaders. Finally a devious Gnutron appeared who was able to play the tricky political game of assembling unlikely alliances and sowing discord among the opposition. Some claimed that the Emperor Jacktron, the greatest of the plotters from the planet Illuminati was an opportunistic scoundrel but others embraced him as a savior. He bribed the Roboforce Berserkers into becoming mercenary bounty hunters for LEGO. He manipulated the UFO and Insectoid juggernauts into attacking each other. He exploited a division among the Cyberslam Corps between the followers of Sam Cyborg and Nick Stryker and soon had them bopping each other into oblivion. He recruited the Megascum Cyborian Republic to fight their Repzyllian Megascum cousins. He broke up the alliance of the Hexatron and the Bluetron. The powerful planets of LEGO were still quarrelsome and disunited but Jacktron and his agents were able to assemble often-temporary alliances to turn back the invader fleets. His personal agents were the Mysterious Men-in-Black (MIBs) who loyally carried out his bidding. His army was the armored car warriors of Illuminati. He had particularly strong support from some of the newly important worlds of LEGO such as the Third Generation Blacktron of Newtron and the Terminators of Terminus. A great blow was struck for LEGO when Marie Curitron of the planet Trantor isolated the active agent from Aquazone Hydrolator crystals and was able to harness it to power the Curitron Curtain shield. The Third Generation Blacktron used the Curtain shield to defeat the combined fleet of the Cyborg Empire and M-Tron rebels at Gauss. Finally all the invaders were turned back and an exhausted peace settled over LEGO in the year 173. As a means of celebrating the survival of the Empire Jacktron organized the first Galaxy Cup futbol tournament in 178. Futbol stadiums were constructed all over LEGO. The first Galaxy Cup was won by Newtron 4-2 over Elysium. The mostly pro-Elysium crowd rioted and torched the stadium. Over one hundred minifigs were trampled to death in the resulting panic.
Ironically Jacktron seemed less suited to administration of a peacetime economy than to cleverly managed conflict but he did make one decision that was destined to prove critical in the history of LEGO. Knowing that LEGO still faced a multitude of dangerous enemies he founded a station for negotiating with all alien powers. The immense station was constructed in the Babylon system (adjacent to Aurora and Terminus). It was named Babylon Nine as the previous eight stations in the system had been broken up for parts in the previous years. Babylon Nine was to play an important role in the future of LEGO and its neighbors.
By this period the original smiley face Trons had been reduced to being a rariety on many planets and had almost entirely been replaced by Gnutrons. Original non-Tron Minifigs had almost entirely vanished. The spread of different varieties of Gnutrons further reduced the old sense of unity that had held the Empire together when the majority were smiling Trons. Mistrust and conflict were the norm and LEGO was only held together by Jacktron's political skill. The future seemed bleak to many as the economy stagnated and flame wars erupted incessantly. It was a time of uncertainty, introspection and bad operating system upgrades that crashed every ten minutes.
THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE Return to Table of Contents
In 187, the Voyager, an Exploriens long-range survey ship that had become lost-in-space when its experimental four-parsec Asimov Assymtotic Worm Hole Drive malfunctioned and sent it far beyond the border of known space, returned with a curious report. The Voyager had detected a great disturbance in the force and had tracked it to a new Empire that had come into existence in the nearby Lucas Reach. The report received a great deal of attention in the Fibblesnork Guide which was now the main news service of the Empire after it had swallowed up the rival Pause Magazine. It was prophesied by Majesto, a wandering seer from the Dark Reach, that it was now the end of the Limitless Empire of the Gaian Outreach's day in the sun and the slow inevitable fade from too much exposure to ultraviolet light was setting in. Majesto also claimed that the mandate of heavenly corporate interest had shifted and the new Empire of the Star Warriors which was rising in the Lucas Reach would eclipse LEGO in importance and number of new sets issued. Many denounced this prophesy as blasphemy but it gained wide acceptance among the populace who were still suffering from the after effects of the devastation wrought during the Time of Troubles and were now also starting to worry about the damaging effects of the upcoming year 200 bug. Who knows what the future will bring? [OBQUOTE: You are the Lego Maniac. Only you can decide the outcome.]